I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
