at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
