She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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