I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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