Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
