Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
