Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
