I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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