he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
