I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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