if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
