He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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