woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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