brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I accidentally had phone sex last night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
