i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
as a side note pls kill me
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