I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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