the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
