She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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