No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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