I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
