Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
