Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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