why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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