i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
