I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
