I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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