i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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