my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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