Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i believe in u and ur pee
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
