So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
