Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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