What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
