Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
