wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
