your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
