Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
