Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
cat food counts as protein by the way
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
