Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
