the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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