Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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