I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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