their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
