Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
