I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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