This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
