just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
