What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
