do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
