I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
