please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
